Home Matters

Tomorrow at 12:15 I am signing the paper on the house and it will no longer be mine. It makes me sad. It is one of the last steps in the whole process. Who would ever thought my life would come to this. I sure never did, but here I am.

I can't change it, just have to make the best of it that I can. Who knows what is in store for me now. I had a plan. It is now gone.

Going home this weekend for Granny's birthday. I have not been in since Christmas. I am not looking forward to it, not because I don't want to see everyone, I don't know just will make it seem so much more real? I don't what I am trying to say. I guess I am just scared. I know no one is going to be mad at me or anything. I guess it is me feeling like a failure and now I have to face all my loved ones. Who knows if that makes sense to anyone but me.

Here is to things getting better.

New Phone

I got the A950. Other than breaking it and have to get a new one I am really liking it. Yeah anyway new phone number email went out once again if you did not get it and want it just let me know and if I believe you are not a stalker I will let you have.

Close?

I saw this on Astronomy Picture of the Day today. It is an animation of 2002 and all the asteroids that were close to Earth. Looks like some pretty close calls. Just thought it was interesting.

Last chance to see a dream

Last chance to see a dream before it is gone, you only have until Thursday night before it is gone. So if you would like to see the house and have not, or even if you have seen it and would like to see it one more time before it is gone just let me know and I will give you the walk through.

Friday we are closing, well I am closing I think Leslie is doing it Thursday or something, but who cares this is about me! Well that sucks I should have never said anything about Leslie it make me angry sometimes and I guess this is one of those time.

Yeah so new couch today I think. I have not heard from them so we will see. Got to go move the rest of my stuff out this weekend. The people are going to do a walk through today at 11 so it will have to be after that.

Something

Well I want to post something, but I am not really sure what. So I read that they are increasing shipments of XBox 360's. I still can't decide if I want to get one or not. It would be cool and now that Microsoft has pushed back Vista I will not have to build a new computer until after the first of the year.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but when Vista comes out I am giving myself a gift of a whole new computer. It will be the first whole new one I have had in I would say at least 6 years. More than likely longer than that.

New couch should be here this weekend. That is pretty exciting seeing that this one is going to get more use than the old one did.

I am liking the apartment, I mean it is not the house, but that dream is gone so I have to make the best out of it that I can.

New Address

I just send out the new address email. If you did not get it let me know where to send it and I will.

We got most of the stuff moved, and got a new couch picked out. The place is a mess right now, and will be for awhile I am sure, but who cares come visit the new place!

New Place

Well I am now at the new place, and of course being the dork that I am the first thing up and going is the internet. Melissa and I did a lot of moving today. We still have a whole lot to do, but it is nice having some of it done.

The new place is gated and there is a camera on the guest gate. You have to look up the person you are going to see and it call them and they let you in, well if you turn the TV to the right channel you can see people coming in. It is pretty funny. We have been sitting here watching it.

The Hunt for Thai

The hunt for a Thai restaurant that match the one in Cookeville is still on. Last night Julie and I tried one on Haywood. It was good, but still not at the point of the Cookeville place. I don't know if I will ever fund one to match it.

I have even started to wonder if maybe Cookeville Thai is not the real stuff and all the other places are. All I know is the hunt is still on.

Weather

Well I was wanting to check out another state park today, but the weather man stopped me. He said thunder showers. So I did not go. I finally had to say screw it and went for a small bike ride. It was nice out. More life is out and about every day.

This morning I went to check out some of the Verizon phones. I am leaning toward the Samsung A950, but if anyone has any suggestion please let me know.

Again

Well I was going to post about how much I suck for breaking down yet again, but I am sure everyone is tired of reading about that, so instead I will talk about something else.

We are signing the lease on the new place on the 17th and will be doing as much moving as possible that weekend, so if you want to help great! I don't' think it is going to be to bad. Don't worry I will not be mad if you don't help. I called the other day and got the utilities ready to go. I also ordered the disconnect of most of the house stuff. The water I have to go in and have it disconnected so I have to find the time one day to do that.

So moving time is creeping up pretty fast. I guess it will be good being moved, at least that is what everyone tells me. I guess we will see. I will send out an email with the new address and stuff. If you don't get one by April just let me know and I will add you to my list thing.

Sometime in the future I maybe getting a new phone number. I have not decided about that one yet. It will be a few month so you will get a separate email about that.

Long Hunter State Park

Well I was still feeling pretty bad this morning so I went for a walk at Long Hunter State Park. At first I found a 1/4 of a mile loop. I walked it and thought it was nothing. So I looked around and found a 2 mile loop.

I really enjoyed the 2 mile loop. I really wish I had a camera with me. I saw all kinds of wildlife on this loop. I was about 15 yards away from a couple of deer at one point. It was amazing to be close enough to a wild animal to see their muscles moving. It was also very nice to see in the middle of all the dead stuff brightly colored birds. It was for them that I really wanted my camera. I think it would have been a great picture.

Anyway I got finished with the 2 mile loop and was not ready to go. So I started down a trail that is 4 miles one way. Which means it is 8 miles to go down the trail and back. I did it. I don't know what I was thinking, but I did it. I am in pain. I don't know what got in my head to make me think I could go from doing almost nothing to walking 10.25 miles in one day. I am wondering if I will even be able to walk in the morning. It was really nice until the pain started.

One forward, two back...

Got to love how easy it is be thrown back down on the ground and the knife in my heart given another twist. It is so easy to slip back to this state and I hate it.

Mom came up today to get some stuff. TV, bed, etc. I think that is what started it. I knew it was going to happen, but for it to be happening sucks. Leslie told me my last blog entry was interesting. No idea what that means, and in the state I was already in it really screwed with me. At least she does not have to put of with my crying any more I know she always hated it.

I just spell check this entry and blog came up as a miss spelling. You would think that BLOGger would have blog as a correctly spelled word.

The Art Of Breaking

The Art Of Breaking by Thousand Foot Krutch

Every time I call you on the phone
I listen to it ring but no one's home
I can't explain the energy that
You give me when I'm left here alone

And every time I pass you on the street
You won't even turn and look at me
I never would of thought that things could
Go this far but please believe me

I'll pick you up, won't let you fall
I'll build your trust and it won't hurt at all,
Your only drug will let you down,
I'm through now, so take me and blow me away

When I feel numb I'll let you know
I won't become what I was before,
You cannot kill what's not your creation
This is the Art of Breaking

I think I might just lose my mind
If I have to watch this one more time
I can't explain how many times I've stayed for you when you were on my mind

No one ever said that it was easy
So come out of the cold and stop your bleeding
I never would of thought that things could
Go this fat, but please believe me

Are you gonna run away, and leave me here alone?
Are you gonna run away, and leave me here?

Hamel's House of Blog: Musings on a half-life

David turned me on to this post and I must say it is wonderful. Very good lessons.