inside.my.mind

Moved to elemak.net

2006-06-11T08:11:00.000-05:00

Well after playing with Wordpress yesterday I have decided to go with it, so update all links and feeds to elemak.net.

I am still working on so I am sure there are a few errors around. Let me know if you notice any problems and I will get them taken care of.

Leaving?

2006-06-10T06:53:00.000-05:00

I am thinking about moving my blog from blogger. Would anyone care? I have a domain and I am thinking why not put it to use. I am not sure yet, but I am kicking around the idea. You all would visit me at my new home right?

If you are interested in checking out my potential new home it can be found at elemak.net.

Title

2006-06-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

So life continues. Rolling right a long. Mostly the same. Moments of happiness and moments of depression. It is kind of funny how they can happen in the same moment, which is not mostly the same. That one is new.

Why are people mean? What drives us to hurt other people? Why must we strike out and hurt the ones who love us just because we are having a bad time? Does it really make us feel better when we drag someone we love down with us? Does it help? Relationships can only take so much of that, so next time you are going to say something you know will be hurtful take a second and think if it will really be worth it to crush a loved one in a petty attempt to make yourself feel better.

I don't really have a whole lot to say. I did not get off work until 5:30 tonight and was a slacker and skipped my workout. I don't guess it really matters since it does not seem to be doing anything for me, although if I keep going at the rate I am now I might make a world record for gaining and losing the same half a pound over and over again.

I closed my account with Regions bank last week. It has been just sitting there for the last 3 or 4 months making sure I had everything cancelled that was coming out of it. I was sad to see it go. I got that account the day I moved to Cookeville my freshmen year of collage. It also happened to be my first checking account ever. They were Union Planters when I first signed up. They had a much better website back in those days.

Does anyone have an opinion one way or another on the iPod Nano? I am thinking of getting one to help pass the time when (if) I workout.

Noah Steven Brady

2006-06-04T19:50:00.000-05:00

Steven and Ashley's baby was born Friday June 2 at 1:46 PM. He weighed 7 pounds and 5 ounces. I went to see them on Saturday.

He was amazing. That little life just laying in my arms. I don't know how to describe it other than amazing. There is nothing in the world like it. I would have held him all day if had not felt bad about holding him so much.

Long Weekend

2006-05-29T18:23:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love long weekends? They are great! I don't know how long it has been since I have had a day off what was not for something bad. So, woohoo for day off that is not bad!

Saturday I went to Center Hill Lake with Leah, Melissa, and Leah's parents. We had a wonderful time! Ok the sunburn is not that wonderful, but other than that it was a great time. I got to drive a boat around for a few hours. Who knew that could be so relaxing. I guess it helps to be hanging out with people that I don't feel any pressure from and can just enjoy myself.

I don't know how to classify this as good or bad or what, but I finally got Leslie to sign the check I got for the money we had remaining in the escrow account. Best I can think, I do not believe I will have any reason I have to talk to Leslie again. She seems to be doing good. Don't guess it is as hard to get over something when you are the one who is doing the leaving. I don't know if that is true or not. I hope it helps knowing that I will not have to see her.

X-Men 3

2006-05-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

It was good, but I think the first two were better. If you go watch it don't forget to stay after the movie until the credits are finished. You will be sad if you don't. I would say more, but I don't want to screw it up for anyone.

Always there

2006-05-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

It always amazes me how simple it is to slip back into the darkness. A phone call, a movie, a song, a picture.

80s Tech Revisited

2006-05-18T20:02:00.000-05:00

I thought this was pretty interesting. It is kind of cool to look back and see how far we have made it in just a few decades.

Fiction

2006-05-17T20:29:00.000-05:00

I am sure everyone has head of The Da Vinci Code by now. I am also sure you have heard people talking bad about it. Kind of how some people are about Harry Potter. I don't get what the big deal is. They are both works of FICTION. I quote M-W: 1 a : something invented by the imagination or feigned; specifically : an invented story.

Did you see that? Fiction is something that is made up. It is an invented story. So what I want to know is why people get so upset about fiction. I could see the problem if it was not clear that something was fiction, but most of the time this stuff is clearly marked. Maybe I am missing something, if I am someone please tell me what it is.

Do we never learn?

2006-05-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

Why do people do stupid things? Why is it that we can get so lost in whatever situation we happen to be in that we don't stop to thing about how stupid we are being? I am saying we, because this is a people thing in general and I am not talking about anything in particular.

I don't think it is just me that does things like this. It is just strange how our brains can get so focused on one that we don't care about anything else. It is bad, well a lot of the time it is bad. I can be a good thing, but more often that not it is trouble.

Wish there was a good way to guard against letting this happen when you don't want it to, but it always seems to be to late by the time you think about all the repercussions of an action.

The Weekend

2006-05-15T20:23:00.000-05:00

I had a pretty good weekend. Sis and I left Friday after I got of work. Her tires were really bad so we were lucky to make it alive, but we did. Got suck in traffic for an hour about the time we were about 15 minutes from Granny's, but we still had fun. Then it was bed time.

Saturday drove the grandparents' Mustang around most of the day. Hung out with Dusty and Andy a little bit.

Sunday grandparents came home and spent a little bit of time with them. Good times when I could keep my brain off bad stuff.

Four Years

2006-05-11T19:36:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow would have been our fourth anniversary.

Here is a song that pretty much sums everything up minus the know its not my fault part.

Everything You Ever Wanted - Hawk Nelson

I walk the line
Leave it all behind
I've been waiting forever
Lets go back in time
When I could read your mind
Still I've been waiting

It took the seasons going by
To know its not my fault

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

Its been so long
Since you've been home
I used to wait up forever
I used to say a prayer
Wishing you were there
And I'm still waiting

You told me once
You'd show up
But I fell for that
Before I fell to pieces
Then I woke up
To no one,
Just a picture of Jesus
And a house left in pieces

It took the seasons going by
To know its not my fault

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you
I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
tried to be everything but you

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

Third Time

2006-05-09T20:05:00.000-05:00

Well this will be the third time I have started writing a blog. The first two sucked. It is very strange for me not to post them anyway, but whatever.

All the people that normally IM are without internet. It sucks. I missing having them there to message real fast about something stupid and get a response. This would be not pathetic part of blog number one.

Blog number two was about how to find a better life, and was pointless. At least this way you get the short version.

I do have some good news, Netflix is finally going to start shipping me Farscape again! When I finish it next will be some movies and then 24. I have heard very good things about 24, but never have seen it. I use Netflix more for TV than anything. They have a great selection it just sucks when a disc has a wait, which has never happen to me on a movie just TV stuff.

Kill Bill Vol. 2

2006-05-08T20:20:00.000-05:00

Well I am almost two house into Kill Bill Vol. 2. So far I think Vol. 1 was better. I think Bill and the Bride are going to fight soon, so it may get better.

Oh I watched The Longest Yard last week and was telling my boss about it. Turns out that it is a remake of a movie from the 70's. It is funny when stuff like that happens because he freaks out about feeling old.

Um I was going to say something about how I have been feeling, but no need to repeat the some old crap over and over. Well nothing like Leslie calling to make me feel worse than I already did. Seems like the garbage people did not listen when I told them I did not want their service anymore. So Leslie was calling to tell me about it, wonderfulness.

Technorati

2006-05-05T20:32:00.000-05:00

Well I am going to try out this Technorati thing. I thought about it before, but I was always to lazy. I had extra time to night so I went and dug up David's post on Technorati.

If you are interested you should check it out. It does not look ever hard using the Greasemonkey extension.

If you could hear me now...

2006-05-04T20:22:00.000-05:00

I would be screaming.

Now I know why people end up on drugs or drunk all the time.

80!

2006-05-03T19:57:00.000-05:00

This is my eightieth post on blogger. Does not seem like I am been gone from Modblog long enough to have that many posts here. Time flies.

We have a couch now! Everyone must come sit on it.

Drove by the house today. They have it looking pretty nice. Got flowers planted and everything. Stuff I would have like to have done, but Leslie never wanted to help me with so, I ended up having other things to do. They seem like they are living the dream that I wanted. Good for them I am glad someone is getting to do it. That may not make any since to anyone but me.

Watched Kill Bill Vol. 1 tonight. What a crazy way to end a movie!

Mom is coming up to visit this weekend! I like it when people come to visit. Makes me feel loved.

Saturday I am having lunch/dinner (whatever you call what you do when you eat at 2 in the afternoon) with my old fencing teacher and his wife. Heard from the after over two years so we got some catching up to do.

In other news I am stupid and should know better than to get up hopes up about things anymore. My brain got one little bit of questionable information and ran way to far with it. Don't ask.

Something Positive

2006-05-01T20:25:00.000-05:00

I don't know if anyone will believe it or not, but I got a couple of nuggets of good news today.

First of all they are trying a new policy at work so starting tomorrow I get to go in at 7 and get off at 4! Never thought I would see the day when they would budge on something like that. So I get to work 5 hours, have an hour lunch and then work 3 more hours. I think it will be nice getting off an hour early.

Second thing is they are going to deliver our couch tomorrow! It will be nice to have one again. Lets just hope they come though and show up.

Run away brain

2006-04-30T07:48:00.000-05:00

I don't know if everyone is like this or not, but I am bad about reading to much in to something. One little thing can happen after time I will be thinking that this person hates me or is on the way to loving me.

Either way it goes it sucks. If only I could see things as they really are I think life would be a lot easier, but with my current state I am all over the place thinking people feel one way about me and the complete opposite the next.

I leave you now with a song:

Held - Natalie Grant

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Sammy meet my readers

2006-04-28T20:56:00.000-05:00

Readers meet Sammy:

When we went and picked out the table we won $25 in free stuff. Sammy was $24.95. Be nice or Sammy will chop your head off.

Roth

2006-04-27T20:12:00.000-05:00

Well I finally sent in the paper work to start my Roth IRA. I don't know how long I will be able to put money in it, but something is better than nothing right? I am trying to make sure I don't have to eat dog food when I am old. It is sad that some people have to do that, and others who are perfectly capable of work, but to lazy to do anything.

Ok sorry for that little rant. Way to political for my blog.

Um...I been going to the gym thing we have here. It is another one of those things that I don't know will last or not. I hope it does. The first time around I had my hair, but now I am fat and bald. I don't think that will be good for finding someone to love me so I am trying to at least drop the fat part.

Not that I am really ready for anyone else. Boy do I feel sorry for that person when they do come along. No telling how many issues I am going to have with relationships after this, and I had a fear of abandonment before.

Way

2006-04-27T20:05:00.000-05:00

Way FM is having a fund raiser thing. If you can give please do.

Sigh

2006-04-25T06:29:00.000-05:00

I know you all are getting tied about hearing about me being upset. In fact I have been doing a little writing the old fashiond way just to save you all from having to read all the crap that is going on in my head.

Lately I have been wanting to call Leslie and yell at her that I hope she is happy because she has screwed up my life. I know that is not really fair. I will never do it either. I just get really frustrated and sad sometimes.

How to Become an Early Riser

2006-04-23T09:51:00.000-05:00

I thought is was a pretty intresting article: How to Become an Early Riser

Good year for movies

2006-04-21T16:52:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it. There are TWO movies that I will go to the theater to see this year. X-Men 3 and Superman Returns. That has to be some kind of record. I can't remember when the last time I was looking forward to seeing more than one movie at the theater in one year.

Out of it

2006-04-20T19:51:00.000-05:00

I am not doing to good with the getting up so very early. I would if I could get to sleep earlier, but I have not been able to do so. I go to bed early, but can't sleep. So today I was pretty much out of it. I did not get a whole lot done. I am hoping tomorrow will be better.

I am hoping next week will be much better. We are only going to do 9 hour days instead of 10. It should be better, but we will see.

Yeah sorry I am not in a good mood. The lack of sleep is affect my ability to be happy or seem happy or whatever it is I do these days.

Two Things

2006-04-17T20:02:00.000-05:00

1) Meeting at 4 today at work. We were informed that we will be going in two hours early (6 am) this week and next. It would not surprise me at all if we have to say late as well. They better not screw me out of hanging out with Andy and Dusty next weekend.

2) Got the final divorce papers today.

Great day.

Long week

2006-04-14T22:24:00.000-05:00

This has been a rough week. Glad it is over with.

Switchfoot goodness

2006-04-09T20:07:00.000-05:00

I replaced another part of my missing CD collection this weekend. I went to Best Buy looking to get Switchfoot's latest two CD, which I did, but I also found this 3 CD thing for $16 that had their first three CD's so I got that too!

I like me some Switchfoot, they are up there with Thousand Food Krutch.

King Kong was ok, kind of sad. I don't think it will be anything I will be buying. Not that it was bad just don't think I will ever feel the need to see it again, which if you did not know is the number 2 reason to buy a movie. The first being that it was good.

I got my hair cut this weekend! I was starting to get shaggy again. It is funny for hair that wants to fall out, what I do have grows fast. Just it is trying to get all its growing in before it takes the dive.

King Kong

2006-04-06T21:14:00.000-05:00

There will be a viewing of the new King Kong this weekend at my place. Admission is free. We have three chairs open currently with plenty of floor seats. Day and time are still up in the air so if you want to join us just let me know a time and everyone can show up then.

Oh I also have popcorn! If you want other snacks please bring them we are allowing outside food and drink for this showing. Please sign up fast seating is limited.

Dreams of Gas

2006-04-06T06:38:00.000-05:00

I dreamed last night that I went to a gas station in Athens. The price was $2.00 a gallon, but they only had one pump and had to pay in cash. I waited what seemed like an hour before my turn. All I had on me was a $50 and only need like $25 worth of gas.

I gave the my money, pumped the gas, and moved the truck so the next person in line could get to the pump. I went back in the store to get my change. They told me that the guy who took my money was gone and I could not get my change until he was working again. I was mad and fought with those people until I woke up.

Times like this

2006-04-04T21:07:00.000-05:00

It is so hard at times like this, night at the apartment alone, almost bed time with a little extra time, to not fall back down flat on my face. It is a struggle to keep my thoughts under control. Maybe it is getting easier? I guess it is. I am trying to stay positive.

I just tried calling Leslie. I don't know why I do that. She did not answer, but don't guess she has to anymore. I should not even call, but I want to. I want to make sure she is doing ok. I really do want her to be happy. I don't think that is a bad thing, it is all I ever wanted to do for her, and maybe this way she can have it.

On something more up beat the A/C in the truck is working again for now. Got it hooked up this past weekend. I am sure it still has a leak, but if it will last the summer that would be great. If it does last until next year I may just keep filling it up every summer for a few years until I can save up some moneys for a new (or at least new to me) car.

I am still loving the new phone. Other than that one time I screw it up I have had no problems out of it. The sound is 200% better than what I had on my old phone, not to mention it is not purple! Nothing against purple, but it is not the color I want my phone to be.

Predators

2006-04-03T22:39:00.000-05:00

We just got home for the Predators game. The boss had some tickets he could not use so he gave 2 to me and 2 to another coworker. We all went and had a blast. I felt bad cause Melissa skipped school. I almost did not ask her for that reason.

They lost, but that is ok we still had a great time. Nothing like a good time with some friends. The downside is that it is now almost 2 hours past my bed time which means tired me tomorrow. Good times!

Home Matters

2006-03-30T21:13:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow at 12:15 I am signing the paper on the house and it will no longer be mine. It makes me sad. It is one of the last steps in the whole process. Who would ever thought my life would come to this. I sure never did, but here I am.

I can't change it, just have to make the best of it that I can. Who knows what is in store for me now. I had a plan. It is now gone.

Going home this weekend for Granny's birthday. I have not been in since Christmas. I am not looking forward to it, not because I don't want to see everyone, I don't know just will make it seem so much more real? I don't what I am trying to say. I guess I am just scared. I know no one is going to be mad at me or anything. I guess it is me feeling like a failure and now I have to face all my loved ones. Who knows if that makes sense to anyone but me.

Here is to things getting better.

New Phone

2006-03-29T06:47:00.000-06:00

I got the A950. Other than breaking it and have to get a new one I am really liking it. Yeah anyway new phone number email went out once again if you did not get it and want it just let me know and if I believe you are not a stalker I will let you have.

Close?

2006-03-28T06:28:00.000-06:00

I saw this on Astronomy Picture of the Day today. It is an animation of 2002 and all the asteroids that were close to Earth. Looks like some pretty close calls. Just thought it was interesting.

Last chance to see a dream

2006-03-25T08:19:00.000-06:00

Last chance to see a dream before it is gone, you only have until Thursday night before it is gone. So if you would like to see the house and have not, or even if you have seen it and would like to see it one more time before it is gone just let me know and I will give you the walk through.

Friday we are closing, well I am closing I think Leslie is doing it Thursday or something, but who cares this is about me! Well that sucks I should have never said anything about Leslie it make me angry sometimes and I guess this is one of those time.

Yeah so new couch today I think. I have not heard from them so we will see. Got to go move the rest of my stuff out this weekend. The people are going to do a walk through today at 11 so it will have to be after that.

Something

2006-03-22T21:09:00.000-06:00

Well I want to post something, but I am not really sure what. So I read that they are increasing shipments of XBox 360's. I still can't decide if I want to get one or not. It would be cool and now that Microsoft has pushed back Vista I will not have to build a new computer until after the first of the year.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but when Vista comes out I am giving myself a gift of a whole new computer. It will be the first whole new one I have had in I would say at least 6 years. More than likely longer than that.

New couch should be here this weekend. That is pretty exciting seeing that this one is going to get more use than the old one did.

I am liking the apartment, I mean it is not the house, but that dream is gone so I have to make the best out of it that I can.

New Address

2006-03-20T19:51:00.000-06:00

I just send out the new address email. If you did not get it let me know where to send it and I will.

We got most of the stuff moved, and got a new couch picked out. The place is a mess right now, and will be for awhile I am sure, but who cares come visit the new place!

New Place

2006-03-17T18:41:00.000-06:00

Well I am now at the new place, and of course being the dork that I am the first thing up and going is the internet. Melissa and I did a lot of moving today. We still have a whole lot to do, but it is nice having some of it done.

The new place is gated and there is a camera on the guest gate. You have to look up the person you are going to see and it call them and they let you in, well if you turn the TV to the right channel you can see people coming in. It is pretty funny. We have been sitting here watching it.

The Hunt for Thai

2006-03-14T06:46:00.000-06:00

The hunt for a Thai restaurant that match the one in Cookeville is still on. Last night Julie and I tried one on Haywood. It was good, but still not at the point of the Cookeville place. I don't know if I will ever fund one to match it.

I have even started to wonder if maybe Cookeville Thai is not the real stuff and all the other places are. All I know is the hunt is still on.

Weather

2006-03-11T17:52:00.000-06:00

Well I was wanting to check out another state park today, but the weather man stopped me. He said thunder showers. So I did not go. I finally had to say screw it and went for a small bike ride. It was nice out. More life is out and about every day.

This morning I went to check out some of the Verizon phones. I am leaning toward the Samsung A950, but if anyone has any suggestion please let me know.

Again

2006-03-08T19:03:00.000-06:00

Well I was going to post about how much I suck for breaking down yet again, but I am sure everyone is tired of reading about that, so instead I will talk about something else.

We are signing the lease on the new place on the 17th and will be doing as much moving as possible that weekend, so if you want to help great! I don't' think it is going to be to bad. Don't worry I will not be mad if you don't help. I called the other day and got the utilities ready to go. I also ordered the disconnect of most of the house stuff. The water I have to go in and have it disconnected so I have to find the time one day to do that.

So moving time is creeping up pretty fast. I guess it will be good being moved, at least that is what everyone tells me. I guess we will see. I will send out an email with the new address and stuff. If you don't get one by April just let me know and I will add you to my list thing.

Sometime in the future I maybe getting a new phone number. I have not decided about that one yet. It will be a few month so you will get a separate email about that.

Long Hunter State Park

2006-03-05T19:52:00.000-06:00

Well I was still feeling pretty bad this morning so I went for a walk at Long Hunter State Park. At first I found a 1/4 of a mile loop. I walked it and thought it was nothing. So I looked around and found a 2 mile loop.

I really enjoyed the 2 mile loop. I really wish I had a camera with me. I saw all kinds of wildlife on this loop. I was about 15 yards away from a couple of deer at one point. It was amazing to be close enough to a wild animal to see their muscles moving. It was also very nice to see in the middle of all the dead stuff brightly colored birds. It was for them that I really wanted my camera. I think it would have been a great picture.

Anyway I got finished with the 2 mile loop and was not ready to go. So I started down a trail that is 4 miles one way. Which means it is 8 miles to go down the trail and back. I did it. I don't know what I was thinking, but I did it. I am in pain. I don't know what got in my head to make me think I could go from doing almost nothing to walking 10.25 miles in one day. I am wondering if I will even be able to walk in the morning. It was really nice until the pain started.

One forward, two back...

2006-03-04T22:42:00.000-06:00

Got to love how easy it is be thrown back down on the ground and the knife in my heart given another twist. It is so easy to slip back to this state and I hate it.

Mom came up today to get some stuff. TV, bed, etc. I think that is what started it. I knew it was going to happen, but for it to be happening sucks. Leslie told me my last blog entry was interesting. No idea what that means, and in the state I was already in it really screwed with me. At least she does not have to put of with my crying any more I know she always hated it.

I just spell check this entry and blog came up as a miss spelling. You would think that BLOGger would have blog as a correctly spelled word.

The Art Of Breaking

2006-03-02T21:45:00.000-06:00

The Art Of Breaking by Thousand Foot Krutch

Every time I call you on the phone
I listen to it ring but no one's home
I can't explain the energy that
You give me when I'm left here alone

And every time I pass you on the street
You won't even turn and look at me
I never would of thought that things could
Go this far but please believe me

I'll pick you up, won't let you fall
I'll build your trust and it won't hurt at all,
Your only drug will let you down,
I'm through now, so take me and blow me away

When I feel numb I'll let you know
I won't become what I was before,
You cannot kill what's not your creation
This is the Art of Breaking

I think I might just lose my mind
If I have to watch this one more time
I can't explain how many times I've stayed for you when you were on my mind

No one ever said that it was easy
So come out of the cold and stop your bleeding
I never would of thought that things could
Go this fat, but please believe me

Are you gonna run away, and leave me here alone?
Are you gonna run away, and leave me here?

Hamel's House of Blog: Musings on a half-life

2006-03-01T18:04:00.000-06:00

David turned me on to this post and I must say it is wonderful. Very good lessons.

Good Weekend

2006-02-26T20:29:00.000-06:00

Well this weekend was very nice, really starting Thursday night it was good if you don't count work on Friday. Yeah but really good weekend. Had a blast. Not that I did a whole lot, but what I did do was much fun. I even got some sun light.

I am hoping this will keep me going for awhile longer.

Did the first bit of moving today. Mandy came over and we fixed the grill and then took it to her and Leah's house. I am glad they are getting it I know they will put it to good use.

This coming week is going to suck on the work side. We have to this project that has kept being pushed and pushed. I think it was going to take 6 months to start with. We have worked on it at most 2 months. They want it mostly done by Thursday. It is crap like that that makes my job suck.

So here is to hope for the future.

Alive

2006-02-19T16:40:00.000-06:00

Today is Melissa's birthday, so Happy Birthday Sis!

It snowed this weekend quite a bit (for the area I know it is nothing to the people who live in colder places). I am sure everyone would have found it funny watching me try to get my truck out of the drive way. It took me at least six times of backing up the driveway as fast as I could and then pulling back in to the garage to finally make it out. Funny stuff, but fun at the same time.

Wish I had some wonderful news to pass on about how my life is going, but I don't. I don't have any great trips, raises, or anything like that to talk about. I feel no better. In fact I think I maybe doing worse. I find myself thinking about things and getting mad. That is not me. I don't want to turn in to someone like that. Leslie says it is my own fault. Maybe it is. I don't know. Life just sucks right now. Sorry that all I do is complain.

I am hoping that work with be better this week. Last week about killed me. I don't know what my problem was. I used to work more than that and it not bother me at all. My boss sent me home Wednesday night because he said I looked really bad, but of course I was back in at 7 the next morning not feeling much better.

I think I am going to switch cell service providers when the Cingular contract is up in May. I am thinking that I will go with Verizon since pretty much everyone that ever calls me has them.

Started the process of rebuilding my movie collection. I have some gift cards left from Christmas so I got Napoleon Dynamite, Office Space, and Ice Age (new one that I did not have before). It was mostly an attempt to make myself feel better.

Is this bad?

2006-02-16T18:18:00.000-06:00

I think I have been watching to much Firefly. You know how you have internal dialog with yourself. Stuff you would not really say out loud. Well today I caught myself doing it in Chinese.

Bad week

2006-02-16T06:21:00.000-06:00

This has been a really bad week at work. Stayed late the past two night. It was almost 11 last night when I left. They want me there at 7 this morning. I am so tired I know I am going to mess something up.

Snow

2006-02-13T06:32:00.000-06:00

Well I just looked outside and it looks bad. Roads look slick, but I am out of PTO so I am going to have to try and go anyway. I don't know if I will even make it out of the drive way, but we will see. If I start sliding to much I guess I will just have to come back home.

House Update

2006-02-07T20:17:00.000-06:00

So the people came and looked at the house on Saturday. They liked it. It was good. Monday I get a message that the people who were going to buy their house could not do so until June. Disappointment. Today they are back to wanting it and renting their house. They are coming to look again tomorrow at 10 and make an offer I am hoping.

We can't really go any where on the price. Leslie has to have a set amount and then we are going to give Mom the money she gave us when we bought the house. It will leave basically nothing for me. Oh well such is my life right now.

Apartments

2006-02-04T18:42:00.000-06:00

Went and looked at the apartments I thought I liked today. They are nice, and cost more than I thought they did. This sucks. This whole freaking thing sucks. Sometimes I just want to give up and I don't know what.

I don't know

2006-02-02T19:52:00.000-06:00

Well I am still here. I wish I could go away and never have to see anyone again, but I know that is not possible. This is going to be my life from now on. I wish I could go back, but I am to hurt.

There are people coming to look at the house Saturday. If they don't want it then it will be listed.

I just want tell everyone who has been here helping me, praying, and everything else thank you. I don't know how I would have made it without you all.

Sigh

2006-01-29T18:54:00.000-06:00

So much for hope. I don't know what to say and it seems that is wrong. I don't know where I stand, and that is also wrong. It seems that I am wrong all around.

Just when I was starting to think things would get better I feel worse than ever.

Bye Bye House

2006-01-24T18:35:00.000-06:00

We are going to sell the house. Melissa and I will be here until it sells then it will be back to appartment land.

Encouragement

2006-01-22T14:37:00.000-06:00

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

Mark 4:35-41 NIV

Still Here

2006-01-18T19:46:00.000-06:00

I am still here. Don't really know how to say that I am doing. I have been much better. I have had so much going on that I have not had a whole lot of time to think about things. It seem for the moment I have more time. So yeah, not doing the best.

Sigh

2006-01-14T16:25:00.000-06:00

Leslie moved out today.

Something

2006-01-09T17:01:00.000-06:00

Well I am still here. Nothing is any better. I don't guess it ever will be. They sent me home from work. To check in Wednesday and see if I am can come back. It sucks, but they are right I would not be doing any good if I was there. I am going to have a negative time off balance, which sucks, but is also good because that is not something they let people do. So that means they like me.

You know I am thinking maybe everyone should just stop reading this for a while. It is not going to very good to read. It is going to be rough and I have to do something, so more than likely I will be posting, but I know it sucks to hear me complain about how my life sucks right now. Check back later it can't stay like this forever.

Divorce

2006-01-08T01:31:00.000-06:00

Leslie just told me that she is going to see a lawyer tomorrow to file for divorce. This sucks so much more that I know how to express.

I do want to make one thing really clear. No hating on anyone, nothing that has happen has any reason to make anyone hate Leslie or anything like that. It really sucks, but she has not done anything wrong. It really breaks my heart to know that she is leaving, but we have been having a lot of problems. I know I have not really talked about any of them, nor shall I, but the fact remains that I know what is going on and don't have any hard feels so I hope no one else will either.

That said it really sucks, hurts, and so much more. Once again remembering not to be blaming Leslie. To be honest I don't know what happen. I don't know how we failed.

My Sister

2006-01-07T15:29:00.000-06:00

I have such a good sister. She took me to lunch and now she is washing my truck. The truck is excited. You see I don't really wash it much, or at all really if you just count hand washing. Melissa is good at that sort of stuff she had a detail shop.

She is a really good sister. I am glad I have her even if I used to not show it, but I think that is just brother and sister stuff growing up. It makes me feel mean when we talk about it. It is strange how I blocked out how mean I was. Anyway the point is that I have a wonderful sister and I am very thankful for her.

Something Good

2006-01-06T19:06:00.000-06:00

I have a small bit of good news, all my shows that I watch on Sci-Fi are new tonight! Woohoo for something good. Sci-Fi has always been strange with there seasons. They start in July and then after a few months there is a break of a few months and then they start again in January. It a way it is a good thing, not having to wait as long (at one time) for new shows, but at the same time it sucks to have such a break in the middle of the season.

I have been getting Farscape from Netflix for awhile, and I must say it is good. I should have know since Dusty liked it so much. He is normally really good at picking shows and movies that I like. He is also the one that got us started watching Lost, so big ups to Dusty for introducing me to good entertainment.

First Post (of the new year)

2006-01-05T06:21:00.000-06:00

It has been awhile, so I felt like I should post something. Everything is basically the same that it has been. Nothing has gotten better. I don't know what to do.

Happy End of the Year

2005-12-31T08:18:00.000-06:00

Thought something funny would be a good way to go out, so enjoy: 2005 Darwin Awards

The Baby Name Wizard: NameVoyager

2005-12-28T17:59:00.000-06:00

The Baby Name Wizard: NameVoyager is a pretty neat thing to play with. Try it out!

Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T07:38:00.000-06:00

Just thought I would go a head and say Merry Christmast to everyone. We are leaving at some point today so I will not be able to say it tomorrow. Hope everyone has a good one.

Ick

2005-12-17T18:55:00.000-06:00

I feel like crap. So much for my weekend. At least we had lots of fun last night and the first part of today. Head feels all funny and crap. Sucks.

Back to work

2005-12-12T21:10:00.000-06:00

Well I have to go back to work tomorrow. I was off today to take Leslie to the doctor, and since we were off we finished up most of our Christmas shopping.

You want to know how stupid I am? I normally spend the day before it is time to go back to work thinking about how I have to go back to work the next day. I am sure you can guess that does. Yup, make the current day not so good. Luckily I don't do this all the time.

I don't really know why I do it. Work sucks, but not that bad. I have gotten to the point where whatever happens I don't really care, so I am not worried about getting fired or anything like that. In fact most of the time I enjoy what I do. Ah well I don't know what my problem is. I think I am in a huge life rut right now.

DVD Player

2005-12-11T17:14:00.000-06:00

Well the DVD player up here crapped out on us this week. Over all it has been a good one, Leslie got it for Christmas one year before we got married, it was an Apex. I like Apex, but I went with a Sony to match my TV.

Since the TV is HD it was time to upgrade the DVD player anyway. The bad thing is I still need one more cable for it to work the best it can with the TV. So many cables, so little time.

Do You Have Gas?

2005-12-09T06:40:00.000-06:00

I am watching the news and it seems that natural gas prices are going to be at record levels this year. We have never had natural gas before. This will be our first year with it so I guess we will see a huge difference since we have always had electric heat.

We took Megan to the vet last night. He looked at her eye and it seems to be all better. Her last drop was last night, which she is very happy about. She was starting to hate me because I was the one who always put the drops in her eye.

We have been getting Lost season 1 off Netflix. So far so good. It is worth checking out if you have not.

Life

2005-12-08T06:19:00.000-06:00

Life is so hard sometimes. So hard to not give up.

Christmas Spider

2005-12-03T21:19:00.000-06:00

I finally got a Christmas hat for the spider so now he/she can stay!

Fake or Photo?

2005-12-03T08:31:00.000-06:00

Found this on the net this morning and thought it was pretty cool. I got 9 out of 10.

Megan

2005-12-03T08:16:00.000-06:00

We came home last night and one of Megan's eyes was not right. She would not keep it open, her inner eye lid would not stay all the way open, and her eye look cloudy. So we took to a vet er type thing. They looked at her and said it was not scratched or anything like that. They gave us some medicine to put in her eye every 12 hours for 5 days.

She is acting better since we got her back home, but it still does not look good. The cloudiness is what has me so worried. When I see that it makes me think of blindness. I don't want her to be blind in one eye. I wish I knew what happen. I guess I should be thankful that she is at least acting better.

Head Hurt

2005-12-01T18:35:00.000-06:00

My head is killing me. I am sure I feel that way because I never have them. I am sure if Leslie had the sameone it would be nothing, but for me it sucks. I have had it all day long. I have tried to make it go away, but it does not want to, in fact I think it has gotten worse as the day has gone by.

We going to a Christmas party tomorrow night that Leslie's work it having. I don't think that I have ever been to a Christmas party before. I am hoping it will be fun. Leslie works with some pretty cool people so we should have a pretty good time.

I am going to be off I think I hear some phone ringie tones.

Modblog

2005-11-28T18:19:00.001-06:00

Well seeing that Modblog has been down for another week I am very glad that I made the switch. All I need is to find me a chatter box and some sort of polling thing and I will be all set.

Sorry that I have not gotten pictures of the car up. It is always dark when I get home from work and we have been pretty busy. I now also have some outside Christmas stuff to take pictures of. We have all kinds of cool stuff.

Now if I could just find a Christmas hat for our spider it would be great.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T18:02:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Take Me by Hawk Nelson

2005-11-21T18:50:00.000-06:00

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I’m willing to lose everything I am

Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I’ve been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You’re not alone anymore

When You’re near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won’t be coming back to here again

I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I’ll know that I’m alright

Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I’ll be going wrong so far

Tale me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You’re not along anymore
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I’m alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I’m holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You’re not alone

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You’re not alone

And You’ll be here forever, forever You’ll stay
And You promised to love me, You’ll love me always
You’ll love me for always, You’ll love me for always
Always

Weather

2005-11-16T06:18:00.000-06:00

The weather got really bad her last night. From what Dusty told me there was a tornado 3 to 5 miles from our house. We were all up here watching some Smallville. Finally we decided that it would be a good idea to find some where safer to be.

Come to find out there is not really a good safe place in our house. Every room has at least one wall that is an outside wall, so we just sat in the living room. It all turned out all right.

Moderate Procrastinator

2005-11-12T20:35:00.000-06:00

Yes you read that right. I am a moderate procrastinator. That means I am not good at doing stuff right away, but I also can't wait until the last minute. How much do I suck for not even being good at procrastination.

Guitar Heros

2005-11-06T19:05:00.000-06:00

Dusty came over this weekend to keep me company while the girls went out. He brought his now PS2 game Guitar Hero. He maybe a hero at it be I sure am not. It is a really fun game, but I really suck with music. Even so it was still a blast. We pretty much played games the whole weekend. It was great. Good times.

New Car

2005-11-02T06:32:00.000-06:00

Well this past weekend we found a new car. We are now the proud owners of a Honda Accord. I will try to get some pictures some time. I need to take down the Halloween stuff first so it may be awhile.

Car's back

2005-10-27T06:38:00.000-05:00

Well we got the car back. They only half did the last set of repairs we ask for. They have been a real pain. It is bad that we had to go down and point out places that were completely missing paint. They are the ones that are running a body shop you know?

So last night we finally just got the car. It is not perfect. We are scared about what they might not have fixed that we don't know about, so I am pretty sure we are going to start looking for a new car.

I am not going to be as nice as Kevin was about the people that fixed his car wrong. We were at Team Chevrolet in Smyrna. Never go there they have the worst service I have ever gotten.

Car Update 2

2005-10-26T06:49:00.000-05:00

We have been to pick the car up 3 times. They still have it. Luckily Melissa went with me last night to get it and she found stuff that Leslie and I missed.

Why is it that we are finding all the problems? They are the body shop people why are they not finding this stuff? I hate deal with car stuff.

Car repair report

2005-10-22T08:03:00.000-05:00

Melissa and I went to get the car last night, but by the time we got there everyone one gone from the body shop. Luckily the car was sitting outside and we could look at it.

Lets just say that they are not done yet. The back door has a big wave in it at the bottom, the front door has trouble locking and unlocking, the roof has a place with no paint, the front door does not close good(after finally getting it to unlock), and there are a few runs in the paint. I was not happy.

I hate having to deal with stuff that I know next to nothing about. It is very frustrating to me. I know nothing about car or houses for that matter. Makes me feel inadequate. Thank goodness we have Melissa. She knows about car stuff and will help us from getting screwed.

Blackberry Thumb

2005-10-21T06:45:00.000-05:00

I was watching the news this morning and they started talking about Blackberry Thumb. Seems to be something that you get from using a blackberry to much. I am sure it really sucks, but for some reason it made me laugh.

We are out of town this weekend. We will be leave Saturday morning and heading to Athens.

They should have the car ready today. I can't wait to see it. I am hoping that they did a really good job on it. We finally go the estimate. They said it had $5,000 to $6,000 worth of damage. I can't wait to have it back and get rid of the crap rental car.

Best Buy loves me

2005-10-18T17:58:00.000-05:00

I have been a member of Best Buy's Reward Zone since we bought a TV last year. The thing more than paid for its self the with the TV so it was pretty much free moneys.

So I get a letter in the mail the other day from Best Buy. It is from some marketing guy saying that they have extended my Reward Zone membership for a year for free. That shows me that Best Buy loves me.

Leslie hates the Best Buy, at least she pretends to. I am not really sure if she really hates it or not. It is hard to tell.

Moral of the story is Best Buy is good.

Firefly

2005-10-17T18:02:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I turned on the TV early waiting for Stargate to come on. Firefly happen to be on. I did not think much of it at the time, I was playing on the computer and only half watching it. The next week I saw it on again and this time I gave it my full attention. I was very pleasantly surprised.

Now after seeing even more episodes I love the show. I went and bought the DVD's. To bad there are only 14 of them. They always cut the good stuff.

Rhapsody

2005-10-16T07:37:00.000-05:00

A while back I got Rhaposdy thought Comcast for free, at least the radio part and 25 play tracks. I have not used the 25 play track, but I listen to the radio all the time. They have all kinds of stations it is pretty sweet. If you have Comcast you should try it out since it is free.

Speaking of free software from Comcast I also got McAfee Anti-Virus from them for free after I got frustrated with Notron's Anti-Virus. They also offer McAfee firewall and privacy service, but I have not tried them.

I hate to say this, but Comcast is the best cable company I have ever had to deal with. Now don't take that to mean they are wonderful or anything. It does not change the fact that they are a cable company and we all know that cable company are up there with cell phone companies as the worst companies to deal with.

Company Picnic

2005-10-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

My company picnic is tomorrow. I am not really looking forward to it, but it is the good employee thing to do. Who knows I could get surprised and have some fun. They are having games with prizes, but knowing them the prizes will be crap.

I finished Chainfire tonight. It was good, much better than I thought it was going to be. I did not care to much for the way it ended, but to finish everything that was going on would have make it a really long book. The good thing is that I waited so long to get it that the next one should be out in 6 months or so, which is better than the year to year and a half that I am used to waiting.

Speaking of books The Darktower should be out next month. Well to be honest it has been out for a while, but we have the rest in paperback so we did not want to bother getting the last one in anything other than paperback.

I am still not exactly happy with the layout that I have here, but I have not had to much time to mess with it. I am sure I will get it in shape sometime, but if not no big deal what I got right now works.

One thing that I really love about this place is the spell checker. It should make this thing at least a little bit easy to read.

Oh one last thing, I had to true on the verification thing for posting of comment. I started to get a lot of spamments and got tired of deleting them, so I hope it is not to much trouble.

Firefox Extension BlogThis Test

2005-10-12T18:04:00.000-05:00

Found an extension for Firefox that will make blog entries for me so I thought I would try it out.
It is called BlogThis.

Books

2005-10-12T17:49:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I have ever said anything about it or not, but I read at work. I read in the mornings before it is time to start work and during my lunch break. It helps me relax and passes the time since I have an hour lunch and they will not let us play in the internet.

Right now I am reading Chainfire by Terry Goodkind. It is the 8th or 9th book in a series. The last two were not really all that great for me, but this one I am really into. It seems to be more about telling a story than the last two, not saying that they did not. They were more preachy I guess? I don't know how to explain it.

So far no new news about the car. I am hoping that we find out how much they are going to be charging to fix it before the end of the week, not that it matters since the insurance company will be paying for it.

Car wreck

2005-10-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

Leslie had a car wreck this morning. She ran off the road and along a fence row. The right side of the car is pretty messed up. The body shop people said they should be able to fix it and it not be totaled, so that is good. She was really upset. She is doing better now, but still pretty shaken up.

The good thing about all this is it enabled Leslie and I to take my sister to try and find a job. She pretty much has a job at Dell so that is really cool.

As to the blog situation, I think I am going to try out blogger for a while. So far I am liking it pretty good. I am not saying that I will stick with it, only time will tell.

Moving?

2005-10-08T22:05:00.000-05:00

Well I am considering moving from Modblog to Blogger. Don't get me wrong Modblog has been great, but they have a lot of problems. It makes me sad, but I may make the change.